I feel like there's a song or a painting or something welling up inside me, but I can't quite figure out what it is or what it's about, much less how to create it. I know if I tried, I'd end up with a bunch of lame little somethings, but not *THE* thing.

I've been listening to a lot of music that's been striking me, talking to a lot of friends who've been catalyzing me (both negatively and positively), watching some family things that have been intriguing me causing me to reassess communications with the world, going through some life struggles that have been pushing me in different directions. I don't know if one, many, or all of those things will be *IT* but I'm hoping it does come to fruition, rather than fizzle out as it normally does when feelings like this occur.

I want to actually start a song and finish it enough that I could perform it if I so desire (and that desire's been building). I want to draw or paint a picture and still feel like I have the same potential I had in high school and beginning college, before I put down the canvas and picked up the spreadsheets.

There's something welling, and I want it to actually become something tangible.

-Jes